The Gift of Eulogy

How to Write a Eulogy: What You Need to Know Before You Start (with definitions and examples)

Eulogies: What are they and what makes them so important?

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What’s the Difference Between a Funeral Eulogy and an Obituary?

It is important to understand the difference between an obituary and eulogy. An obituary is typically published in a newspaper or online. Its purpose is to announce the death and it typically also provides a brief life summary or demographics. In addition to announcing the death, an obituary provides information regarding the funeral or memorial services.

Eulogies, on the other hand, are actual speeches. They are also known as eulogy speeches or funeral speeches. They are written to honor or pay tribute to someone who has died. Typically, the goal is to acknowledge the deceased person’s positive characteristics. These funeral speeches are usually read to the audience at a funeral, celebration of life, or other end-of-life services.

Eulogy vs Obituary: Which One Are You Writing?

There is often confusion about what you are writing - is it a eulogy or an obituary? In addition, the loss of a family member or friend can be stressful. When we are under stress, we are more likely to forget or misunderstand information. It is important for you and your friends/family to be clear about each person’s duties, especially if these responsibilities are being shared amongst several people.

What Makes Eulogies Important?

Eulogies are often considered important because they give friends and family a unique opportunity to reflect on their loved one’s life. It can also help our mind process the death. And, it allows us to connect with our feelings about the loss, often leading to feeling comforted.

7 STEPS TO WRITING A EULOGY

1. Identify Which Family Member or Friend Will Write the Eulogy vs. Obituary

   There are two main questions to be answered here: who usually gives the eulogy and who should give the eulogy. Sometimes several people want to write the eulogy, while at other times, no one volunteers because they aren’t sure how to write it. Find the answers to some tricky questions about who writes the eulogy here.

2. Reflect on Your Skills and Determine What Kind of Help You May Need

   Some people are naturally gifted writers or speakers, while others have different talents. It is important to be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses and determine if you have the time, skill, and energy to learn how to prepare a eulogy.

   Consider your experience, skill, and confidence level with both eulogy writing and eulogy speech delivery. Eulogy writing skills include creativity, organization and structure, synthesis, conciseness, grammar, and spelling. If you plan to deliver the eulogy, things to consider include articulation, modulation, stage presence, facial expressions and movement, and audience engagement.

   Even if you aren’t sure you have the skills discussed above, you can still write and deliver a moving eulogy. You just have to make sure you use the right eulogy writing resources. And if you do have the skill set, then you may just need a friend or family member to review it for you.

3. Gather Resources and/or Research Eulogy Writers & Services

   There are many different resources available to help you write the eulogy. If you are reading this, it is likely you have been looking for guidance. There may even be questions you are afraid to ask. You can search online for free eulogy writing tips and you can also read about our 3 steps to success with the eulogy here: Prepare, Deliver, Self-Care. Perhaps a friend or family member would be willing to read your draft and give you feedback. You can also purchase resources such as books and workbooks that will provide guidance on how to write a eulogy. While we don’t offer books, we do offer a digital toolkit that is helpful for those with limited eulogy writing experience. These types of resources are affordable for nearly every budget. Lastly, you can hire a professional eulogy writer to help you. While a eulogy writer won’t typically teach you how to write a eulogy, they can help with eulogy editing or even eulogy ghostwriting. Some eulogy writers may also offer coaching to help prepare you to deliver the eulogy.

4. Talk to Family and Friends

   For some people, it may be helpful to hear ideas or preferences from family and friends. For example, is there something they really want to make sure is highlighted in the eulogy? Perhaps there is something they don’t want you to mention. Close family or friends may even have some good ideas on how to write the eulogy. A brief check-in may be helpful and help get you started.

5. Decide on the General Tone of the Eulogy

   After discussing with family or friends, decide on the general tone of the eulogy. For example, will it be more serious or funny? Will it be religious or spiritual or neither? Do you want it to be about the celebration of life or homegoing?

6. Write an Outline (learn more here)

   An outline can help you organize your thoughts, see how different thoughts fit together (or not), and feel less overwhelmed by the eulogy writing process. The outline will depend on your vision for the eulogy speech. Perhaps you envision using poetry or quotes throughout the eulogy. That outline will look different from a funeral speech that does not include poetry or quotes. Basic things you can include in a eulogy outline: greeting, introduction, key background information, life highlights, and closing remarks/expression of thanks. If you need information on how to start a eulogy, we’ve got that here.

7. Fill in Your Outline with Exactly What You Want to Say

   It is important to actually write out each word of the eulogy… even if you are great at delivering speeches. Funerals and saying goodbye to loved ones rank high on the emotional intensity scale. This can affect our usual abilities. In other words, even if you are really good at giving speeches by heart, you may find yourself struggling to do this with a eulogy.

   Once you write out each word, put it aside for a little while or a day (if you have the time). Then re-read it out loud. It will help you catch anything that doesn’t sound quite right. If you are open to it, ask someone you trust to read it and give you feedback.

   It doesn’t stop at learning how to write a eulogy. Learning to deliver the eulogy is just as important. One of the most common questions we receive is… “How do I read the eulogy without crying?” We’ve answered that for you thoroughly here and you might be surprised at what you learn. And don’t forget… practice, practice, practice is key. Learn more about eulogy delivery coaching here.

Where Can I Find an Example of a Eulogy? How about templates?

There are many eulogy examples and templates online, but they vary in style and quality.

Some may be a better fit for you than others. We have pages dedicated to eulogy templates and examples. You may want to check some of them out below.

Basic Fill-In-The-Blank Eulogy Template

How to Deliver a Eulogy Checklist (subscribe here for instant access)

Short Eulogy Example and Example of eulogy for a friend/colleague

Eulogy Speech Outline Example (with verbatim examples and explanations)

Want to learn more about a eulogy vs obituary? Find out more in our article “What is a eulogy?”

Plus, check out our blog posts below.

OUR SERVICES

We hope you found these FAQs for a funeral speech helpful. We offer a full range of eulogy writing support, including eulogy editing and eulogy writing. Plus, we offer a budget-friendly digital guide to help you write a personalized eulogy. If you want to learn more about how we can help, check us out here.